NBN BROAD-BAND problems: It took seven technicians + 3 MONTHS to install my NBN

WHEN I started working from home, the promise of a lightning-fast NBN connection was irresistible. But seven technicians and three months later, I’m not sure whether it was actually worth it.

This is my frustrating NBN journey.

STAGE ONE: SHOCK AND DENIAL

As my fiancee hangs up the phone, I know before he says anything that today is not our day. Again.

STAGE THREE: ANGER AND BARGAINING

STAGE FOUR: THE UPWARD TURN

This stage is a lie.

STAGE FIVE: RECONSTRUCTION AND WORKING THROUGH

By the time the seventh technician, Mohammed, arrives, my faith in humanity has reached the lowest point since my failure to win Dolly Magazine’s Model Search as a chubby, bespectacled 14-year-old.

I explain this to Mohammed, but he hasn’t heard of Dolly Magazine. He has, however, heard of the Telstra Room, and procured a key for it.

STAGE SIX: ACCEPTANCE AND HOPE

Even when Mohammed leaves, with our new NBN connection working, I can’t summon any good feelings about it. Perhaps it will just take time.

I call my friend with the mantras and tell her that the mantras aren’t working anymore and I’ve run out of vodka. She suggests that I Google a good psychologist. I decide to use the library’s connection for this.

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